Why is it essential to be self-reliant in life and how to achieve that?
As a child I was always loved and protected by the ones I trusted. It’s easy for a child to trust someone because at that point the expectations are quite basic and it’s even easier for the trusted people to keep their promises with the child.
No matter the trusted people are parents, siblings, guardians, or childhood friends. It’s easy for everyone to be there for each other when it’s needed.
But that’s not the same when we grow up in life. As we grow old we come across various things like jealousy, competition, preferences, ego, attitude and a lot more that we didn’t really know when we were children. So, such factors somehow lead people to get less trustworthy with time. That’s a big enough reason to learn how to survive alone in your worst days and be as self reliant as possible.
Why is being self reliant essential for you?
We grow with the impression that a friend is someone who always stays beside us no matter what. So that’s what we keep in our minds for a long time. A lot of people have friends who really stay there for each other to some extreme limits and that’s the beauty of friendships. But when it comes to real growth in life, even if you have an amazing network of people, it’s always better to not rely on anyone else for your work.
As you step up there are going to be questions raised against you. Not everyone will like to see you grow and that’s a fact. You’ll lose people with time and the number of people you can actually trust becomes inversely proportional to your success rate. Because when we come to an age where career becomes our priority then no matter how good relationships you have with people it can get hammered at any point.
I’m not saying it’s going to happen for sure. For plenty of lucky people this never turns out to be the case but for a lot of people it does.
We don’t need to learn how to trust people because right from the beginning we are taught that very well. But when we start getting betrayed by the ones we trusted to be with us that’s where we start realizing that every time you put your trust on anyone you are opening the doors to get hurt by them at some point in your life.
It’s a fact, nobody can ever hurt you unless you allow them to and more easily as you trust people the easier you make it for them to hit you right at your vulnerabilities. As we trust people we give them access to our exclusive things. We share our problems with them, we start sharing secrets and in a professional environment we start sharing a bond with them which we are at the same level so that we can make things easier for each other.
But trust has a thing. It gets tested every now and then. Sooner or later you’d be at a point where your trust will be tested. And every time your trust gets tested you could either come out of it as a happier person or a person who is hurt. I totally admire what Bob Marley once quoted.
“The truth is that in life people are going to hurt you and you’ve got to figure out the ones worth suffering for.”
How to be more self reliant?
The less you trust people the less you are making yourself vulnerable to them. You are not giving access to anyone or you are not allowing anyone to have power over you.
But, in the end our life is bound to have people around us because that’s what makes life better as well. So, it’s not like you shouldn’t trust anyone at all. It’s just that remember to keep the control of your mind to yourself only. Trust people but know your limits. Know how to keep boundaries and stick to them. Know that you have got to keep a personal space in which you plan your next moves and grow further in your life. Remember that you can trust people and have healthy walls between them and yourself as well because that balance is what’s going to make the difference in the end.
Share bonds with people and have a nice balanced life but remember that your ambitions and growth in life should not be dependent on anyone else. It should be more like a self obsessed thing when it comes to growth in your life. Work on yourself by yourself in silence not seeking any favors. Then celebrate with the ones whom you find worthy to keep around.
At every stage of your life you’ve got to take risks and trusting people is a big time risk as well. Personally or professionally you’ll always find people being nice to you and at some point you are doing to develop personal and professional relationships with people around you. Trust plays an amazingly big role in that. When used wisely, trust enhances the quality of the relationship but when handled carelessly then it becomes the most stingy blow that you can face.
Take time to know the people around you. Everytime someone meets you, they are not showing their true self, instead they are trying to show their best possible self at that stage so that they appear good to you. It’s nothing new, we all do it. Whenever we introduce ourselves to someone we try to give a good and lasting impression and somewhere in our minds we are also aware that we are not always like this. We are being this way in order to capture the minds around us.
Trust slowly, take calculated risks with people when it comes to having faith in them and most importantly, always keep this in mind that they can betray you at any point whenever the situation demands them to do so. Especially in professional relationships it has been observed quite a lot. So the best measure you can take is by being aware of all the possibilities.
Don’t be fooled by movies and TV shows that develop unrealistic expectations in our minds regarding how people can be there for each other. Don’t romanticize friendships and relationships too much because the more you do it the more vulnerable you’ll be to them.
At last I’d say that all that I’m suggesting here is to be more mindful and have your back more than anybody else’s back and never expect anyone to always be there to have your back. I have no intentions to suggest that your friends, co-workers or relatives are going to betray you for sure. All I’m saying is that even if in the worst possible scenario something happens that breaks your trust then it’s better to keep these precautions in your mind and not let the damage be severe.
